Monday, April 11th

The days keep going by and Nancy is as smiley and grateful as ever.

I went in to see her this morning at 10 - Jane and I had arranged for a facial (her first ever!) at 10.30 and I think it is safe to say Nancy thoroughly enjoyed it. She felt - and looked - amazing afterwards.

John, Adam and I managed to have a little chat in one of the lovely rooms while she was being pampered. It was nice to be able to just sit and talk.

I had yet another chat with yet another nurse today - I didn't learn much that we haven't already been told - but it is confusing for all of us to see Nancy continuing to be her old self, but at the same time noticing that she is getting incredibly exhausted by the tiniest of things. There is a feeling of being in limbo - of not really believing that this could be over real soon, and Nancy continue to ask me every time I go in how long I think it will be. Waiting for the end of life is hard work - it is confusing and upsetting and in between filled with lovely visits and nice experiences.

She told me that today she had to go back to her bed 4 times during her morning rituals. Just to catch her breath. She also told me that there is still no pain but an incredible heaviness that she can't explain any other way. She looks good and still continues to eat - I made another batch of Cucumber Salad which makes her so happy - she continues to comment on how happy she is that she got her appetite back, and she just loves looking forward to dinner.

with love,

B